Miss Piggy: "Moi does not cook. I eat"

 
As an international superstar and diva, every week is different… and extremely glamorous, but I do my best to keep a schedule. For instance, I try to never get up before noon, never wear any outfit more than once and never miss a meal. Other than that, it’s open the door and watch out world here moi comes!

I have several places sprinkled around the globe – a chateau here, a pied-à-terre there, here a flat, there a flat, everywhere a villa. When you’re famous like moi, the world is your home and someone else picks up the rent.

A diva’s work never ends. If you think it’s not easy being green, you ought to try to be fabulous! Forget it! And, of course, I’m also constantly pursuing new projects, including a new movie that we have in the works. It’s ‘in development’, which is my favourite part of the movie-making process. That’s where you go to a place and eat things and the studio has to pick up the tab! Which reminds me, can we order dessert while I’m doing this interview?

Kermit and moi are constantly together, and when we’re not with each other I keep track of his movements using a satellite GPS system. We work together, we play together and most important of all, we get seen together at fabulous places being chased by paparazzi. As a couple, it’s enough to just be together. It doesn’t matter where or what we’re doing, so long as I can order dessert… Speaking of which, where is moi’s dessert?

Moi is fortunate. I was born perfect. That said, I’m not against using whatever means necessary to maintain my perfection. And that means I have a number of aesthetic advisers. It’s not so much a beauty regime as it is a beauty regiment – an elite strike force of stylists, make-up artists, hairdressers and cosmetic surgeons who work around the clock to make moi look good always. Sweetie, if moi had any more work done I’d have to get a construction permit! Of course I’ve had the occasional nip and tuck, and the every-so-often peel and putty.

Moi’s favourite food is dessert. Which still hasn’t arrived! Actually, I adore anything that contains chocolate, is covered by chocolate or has ever been in the same kitchen with chocolate. And no, moi does not cook. I eat.

I have a personal trainer. He works out for me. Hey, why should I sweat if he’s the one getting paid? I also jog a lot, usually in pursuit of a certain frog.

Moi has always been très busy, but once our movie The Muppets came out in theatres, I was absolutely overwhelmed with requests for interviews, advice and items to auction on eBay. And now that The Muppets is coming out here in the UK on Blu-ray and DVD, I’m sure the requests will increase yet again. (See how I casually plugged the Blu-ray/DVD release?).

The Muppets is out now on Blu-ray and DVD