Ulrika Jonsson, 44

I wasn’t allowed to wear make-up so when I was 16 I probably looked about 12. My social life was non-existant because my parents didn’t let me go out. My half brother Kristin was born when I was 15 and he became my priority, I became my mother’s au pair. I was very rule-abiding and feared my parents’ authority, but underneath I had all this turmoil going on, I felt imprisoned. My parents were very unreasonable. We lived in a lovely house with a swimming pool but despite all that money, there was no love. There was no affinity with me, they had no interest in exploring me as a person.

I’d love to go back to that girl and tell her to have more courage. I think I was pretty scared, I didn’t want to do anything wrong. Now I think if I’d put my foot down and had more strength my parents would have respected me more. As it was, I didn’t have their respect and that really affected my confidence. I always thought I was shit. I’m still a real worrier – I think if I’d worried a bit less I’d look much younger today. But I got more brave. Who’d have thought that I’d end up on telly downing a pint in front of a bunch of men?

I think eventually the frustration of not being able to take part in life led to me wanting to cut the shackles of my family and break free. After school I decided I didn’t want to study for four years, I wanted to go off and make my own money and not be beholden to anyone. I became completely independent in every way – financially and emotionally. To hell with what I was supposed or allowed to do, I would do what was right for me.

I think it was a surprise for people when I did Shooting Stars. They saw me as this sweet innocent weather girl but actually I don’t have any opinion of myself at all so you can tear into me and if it’s funny I love it. So many performers are shy underneath. I never felt I had great social skills but I had this opportunity to make people laugh. I’ve always absolutely loved doing it.

I still get affected if some newspaper says something horrid about me. If they’re stating a fact there’s very little I can do other than shrug and say yup, it’s true, I have four children to four different fathers. But I pay for them, I feed and clothe them, I absolutely adore them and I’ve brought them up in a very happy environment. The liberal Swede in me didn’t really understand what the problem was.

Big Brother was probably the biggest career decision I’ve ever made in terms of risk. There’s no doubt I was motivated by the money, I wanted it for my family. I told everyone I knew to vote me out as soon as possible and I fully expected to be the first to go. When they announced my name as the winner, I actually screamed out, ‘It’s a fix’. I thought they’d got it wrong. So maybe it wasn’t the public who had such a low opinion of me, it was the critics. That was an amazing moment for me.

Ulrika Jonsson's first novel, The Importance of Being Myrtle (Penguin, £6.99), is out now