A credible threat? Britain warned about its AAA rating

 
In the hallowed environs of “backstage at gigs”, AAA means ‘access all areas’, a status represented by a laminated slip of card roughly the size of your palm. The modesty of this item's scale belies its awesome power; the bearer can wander at will, watch the band march out of their dressing room and into a broom cupboard, and stand stage-side to ogle these idols, so close that you can smell their sweat.

In the rather less respectable world of global finance and money-lending on an international scale, AAA stands for roughly the same: virtually unlimited access, though in this milieu it opens the door to a world of debt the size of continents. It is the number one, chart-busting rating that says to lenders your country’s cool enough to know how to handle its cash.

So should we care that Britain has been warned this morning that it has a 30 per cent chance of being stripped of its AAA pass, and downgraded to ‘aftershow only’ access by the credit ratings agencies who decree such things?

Today’s alarm bell sounded as it was revealed that inflation has dropped from 4.2 per cent to 3.6 per cent in January (when does it officially qualify as a ‘plummet’?) Ever-stoic under that inky, immovable Barnet of his (you gurn if you want to, the hair’s not for turning), George Osborne stood firm by the government’s cuts agenda, using words like “reality check” (or does he mean ‘cheque’…?), adding that we must not “waiver on dealing with [our] debts”. He may have been waggling his finger as he said this.

But the worship of the AAA rating may, according to the BBC’s oracle Stephanie Flanders, be coming to an end. Those credit rating agencies whose names make them sound like either granite-faced bouncers or Dickensian misers – Moody’s, Standard and Poor’s, Fitch’s – could be left twiddling their thumbs in an empty dancehall, as we flounce off to a different gig.

It’s not like economics is the new rock ‘n’ roll. Sorry, George.

Whereas the real world of showbiz was shaken to its roots by the untimely death last Saturday of Whitney Houston whilst she was in Los Angeles for the Grammy Awards. The event was to include a tribute to Britain’s Amy Winehouse, who - while not quite on the Houston scale - was our own diva lost tragically young after a catastrophic collision with the hedonistic lifestyle. Nobody expected there to be a second, even more shocking, loss in the very same weekend.

It’s just as well Shakira was saved from a savage sea-lion attack while she was taking its photo in Cape Town on Sunday. She divulged on Facebook: “My brother jumped over me and literally saved my life, taking me away from the beast... it roared in fury.” That would have been a tragedy too far.