What's behind the rising tide of loneliness? It's complicated…

It’s one of the great paradoxes of modern life: we’re more connected than ever – and yet more alone than ever. Thanks to social media, we can scroll endlessly through the curated lives of influencers and celebrities. But beyond our screens, our real-world social circles are shrinking fast.

One major US survey found that 12% of American adults reported having no close friends – four times higher than in 1990. And since 2014, the time they spend with friends has dropped by nearly 40%.

The UK is facing a similar crisis, with some warning that we are now in the middle of a “loneliness epidemic.” A recent survey by the Office for National Statistics found that 7% of adults feel lonely “often or always”, while another 18% say they feel lonely “some of the time”.

But loneliness doesn’t affect everyone equally. Depressingly, and as with so many things in the world, it often hits those already facing disadvantage the hardest. Disabled people, for example, are five times more likely to report feeling lonely often or always compared to non-disabled adults. Those who’ve never worked or are long-term unemployed are three times more likely to experience loneliness than people in professional jobs.

Read more:

• ‘Nobody should feel on their own’: How pubs are stepping up to tackle the UK’s loneliness epidemic
• Loneliness is nothing new – but modern life is making it worse
• ‘Lonely and expensive’: London is becoming less ‘liveable’ than other European cities, study finds

So, what’s behind this rising tide of loneliness? It’s complicated. Smartphones and social media make it easier than ever to stay glued to screens – and harder to connect in real life. The Covid pandemic also accelerated this shift, as many people grew accustomed to staying home and relying on technology instead of face-to-face interaction. A study by King’s College London found that two years after the pandemic, nearly half of people were still seeing friends less often. As a film lover, I’ve felt this change myself. I used to love watching new releases with friends in the cinema and then dissecting them in endless detail on the way home. Since Covid, ever more films skip the big screen entirely and go straight to streaming, removing that reason to meet up.

But smartphones and the pandemic are not the only culprits. Deeper structural issues are at play. The cost of living crisis has hit hard, forcing people to cut back on social activities. For me, when I finally do find a film worth seeing in cinemas, the whole evening can easily set me back £30 – hard to justify when staying home costs nothing. For those on lower incomes or benefits, going out just isn’t affordable. A pint, for example, has risen in price at more than twice the rate of wages since 1990. According to consumer group Which?, a third of UK adults say rising prices have “severely impacted” their social life.

Even families – our most fundamental social units – are shrinking. Today’s teenagers are more likely to grow up with no siblings or just one, a big shift from the days when two or three was the norm. And it’s not just siblings – extended families are also getting smaller. The average British teen now has only five cousins, down from seven in 1970.

The consequences of all this isolation are serious. For people craving connection, loneliness isn’t just unpleasant – it’s dangerous. It’s linked to everything from worsening mental health to social exclusion and even radicalisation. One study even found that chronic loneliness can be as harmful to your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

Of course, not everyone wants to be around others all the time. And being alone isn’t the same as being lonely. People have valid reasons for spending time on their own – and that should be respected. Some have also formed deep, lasting friendships online, and found real connection in digital communities. The goal isn’t to pressure everyone into constant socialising, but to ensure that those who want real-world connection can access it.

The UK government has started to take notice. In 2018, it appointed a Minister for Loneliness – a welcome move, but far from enough. Addressing loneliness and social isolation shouldn’t be treated as an afterthought; it needs to be woven into every aspect of public policy – from urban planning and transport to education, employment and healthcare.

It’s time to think bigger. Bhutan famously measures its success not by GDP, but by “Gross National Happiness”. Maybe the UK – and other nations – should take a similar approach. What if we treated social connection as a fundamental need, not a luxury?

What if every housing development had shared community spaces and every town had free or low-cost social activities? The plans for the Appleby Blue Almshouses in Southwark, the winner of this year’s prestigious Stirling Prize for Architecture, shows what solutions are possible. Through incorporating a community kitchen, communal courtyard and shared activity spaces into the design, the whole building was designed to combat loneliness and foster connections both among the residents and wider community.

Because loneliness isn’t just a personal struggle – it’s a public health issue, a societal challenge, and one of the defining problems of our time. And it’s one we can’t afford to ignore.

James Rose is a journalist specialising in demographics.

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