I became actor after 30 years as a Royal Marine. Here's what people need to know about veterans

Sunray: Fallen Soldier began during the Covid lockdown months. A small team of like-minded former Royal Marine Commandos, now filmmakers, wanted to create a film about ‘our people’ – to show the mental challenges they have faced since being exposed to combat and human trauma. 

They believed it would resonate with everyone. But this was not just a look at trauma. This was to be an action thriller based around their community’s experiences in service and since leaving the forces.

When the initial team of seven former Royal Marines assembled and discussed the story, all agreed the focus should remain the unspoken mental challenges veterans – and all humans – face in life.

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I play the title role in the movie. Sunray is a unit commander in the military and also a warm blessing of hope called Andrew Colman. The character has spent most of his adult life in the military and experienced the hardship and loss of kinetic battle for enduring periods. Up to this point, the character could very much have been me. But on his exposure to traumatic experiences, followed by his struggle to reconcile his actions / experiences on return from duty, his life begins to fall apart. He loses the most precious things to him, his family and his service life. And he struggles to fuse back into society.

When things take a tragic turn, he believes, incorrectly and uncharacteristically, his only way out of this corner is to fight and avenge. My journey may have been similar if, during my vulnerable periods post-conflict, I did not listen to the positive guidance I was given by the people I love.

Andy, unfortunately, did not seek or assimilate any of that love and guidance. I have seen so many friends follow the involuntary self-destruct path because they felt they were ‘dealing with it’. Sadly, this led to some taking their own lives.

For me this film is reaching out to all those humans who feel they are ‘dealing with it’ and to hopefully help them make that step forward to someone or somewhere for help so they will once again get their lives back where they need to be. They are worth so much more.

There is a trend from certain areas of society to tag veterans coming into the community with the ‘mad, bad and sad’ category. This is so wrong. A veteran’s fusion back into society – it is where we all belong and where we come from – should be celebrated and recognised for the enrichment it can bring.

There are challenges when leaving the service. Especially if you have shared the sacred company of people with whom you have experienced life or death situations for prolonged periods. The bonds forged are so strong. Another tag is that you are institutionalised. I believe this is incorrect – I’d say we are conditioned to serve the purpose of the armed forces, our government and our society. This conditioning or creation of ethos will benefit any new career the veteran chooses to follow. Their reintroduction into society should therefore be a joyous return home.

But the transition back into society takes time. If veterans feels lost, they need a lifeline to reach for, via support from the community or from regimental and service support groups.

Homelessness in this day and age is a tragedy that can be seen in all our towns and cities. People make judgements. But, as with Andy in Sunray: Fallen Soldier, none of us can know the full story behind the person’s eyes. The battles and reasons for why ended up in the situation they are in.

When I see military veterans on the street, I know there is far more to the story than a lack of funds or support. The story is for every individual. The strange thing is, for ex-military people, we know we will survive on the street. The street can be more attractive than some places we have lived and operated in. We are trained to look after ourselves and to live rough.

If we are struggling with fusing back into society and never want to be ‘a burden’ to anyone, we will survive. I wish only they could reach out and find a tribe or community that will love and value them. This was the reason I got involved with the charity Hats off for Bootsie created in memory of a homeless veteran, Albert Lines (aka Bootsie), who lived in Kingston-upon-Thames after the Second World War, and was homeless during the 1950s, 60s and 70s.

We created a short film, Service No Longer Required, to raise funds to get a play The Terminus on its feet and employed former homeless veterans creating the play about a French veteran, from the Battle of Waterloo in Victorian Brussels, who was homeless. I believe it is a very powerful short and we will continue to push to get it on stage.

I never wanted to be an actor. I wanted to be a Marine. And I decided to become an actor after nearly 30 years as a Royal Marines Commando. At the time I was wearing my reading glasses in front of a computer screen (as I am now!) and I realised, having survived and even enjoyed my life doing all the Commando things, it was time for something else.

I realised that the enduring wonderment as a Royal Marine and the best memories came from the ‘dits’ or stories, and the storytellers or ‘dit spinners’. So I looked into creative writing at my local university, Plymouth Marjon. And while I was there, I discovered performing arts programme The Actors Wheel – and that I could do a degree in Acting.

I mapped across all the storytelling skills I had from the Marines and decided this was the path to follow. As Shakespeare wrote, all the world’s a stage. It is a tough old industry, but so was the Marines! And this was ten years ago and I’ve managed to keep going.

During my acting training, we looked at the ‘Community Centred Actor’. I decided to run two drama workshops with the regional rehabilitation centre at the Hasler Company Devonport Dockyard (a Royal Navy rehabilitation facility located within HMS Drake, part of HM Naval Base Devonport). This was my community. And I wanted to see what magic they had.

The sessions were part of my academic study, but during the workshops I was blown away by how effective the role playing and acting could be for the wide spectrum of service people trying to overcome physical and mental injuries. It was a time of positive transformation.

This opened me up to the wellbeing benefits the arts can give the serving and veteran community. Since then, I have assisted veteran creative groups at the RBL’s Bravo 22 Company, The Soldiers Arts Academy, Company of Makers, Hats off for Bootsie and Performing Recovery. My training, and my new destiny, has ignited my passion for the benefits provided by the arts. And, maybe even opened a path to a better life for people struggling in silence.

This film, which we made from scratch after raising £60,000, looks at mental health from a veteran’s perspective. What’s real and what’s not real? What do people need? There are so many questions. I am really proud of it.

Sunray: Fallen Soldier is available now on Amazon, Sky Store and Apple TV.

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