Santa, getting flustered: “Oh no, not false identities. They are all me!”
“Hmmmm,” muttered the officer doubtfully. “And why do you need to seek asylum in Britain?”
“We were giving out presents to children in our country and we were accused of stirring up trouble, because the government said we implied that they weren’t doing enough to look after the people,” said Santa. “We got arrested but managed to escape”.
“And you travelled here by sleigh,” the officer said as he shook his head in wonder. “Did you land in any other safe countries on your way to Britain?”
“No,” said Santa. “We came straight here. Luckily, we had enough fuel to get through a direct flight”. Santa thought sadly about people he had met who had arrived on the beach at the same time as them by boat. He had seen them being taken to be detained. He heard from one of the officers that they were likely to be sent back to France as part of a ‘one in, one out deal’, whatever that was.
“Well”, said the officer, “although you do admit to having a sleigh driving licence, you say you weren’t driving this sleigh, no one saw you at the steering wheel and, indeed, no one seems to remember who was driving it. Meanwhile, several eyewitnesses say that this reindeer was also sat in a passenger seat and not pulling the sleigh”. Santa and Rudolph both breathed a sigh of relief as it seemed they were unlikely to be charged with facilitating a breach of immigration law.
Advertising helps fund Big Issue’s mission to end poverty
Read more:
Meanwhile, having reassured the officers that he was in fact 213 years old and not a child, the elf waved goodbye to them as he was taken away to be sent to a different town while his asylum case was processed. “This is why we need that Facial Age Estimation technology,” grumbled an officer to his colleague.
A few weeks later Santa and Rudolph were lying listlessly on their beds in their hotel room. Rudolph was groaning and rubbing his belly. Chips, chips and more chips. He missed his regular meals of lichen and wondered where he might be able to find some in this little English seaside town. Santa was gazing at the smooth white walls and ceiling. He got up and did some stretches and squats. Without access to a chimney to climb up and down, he was worried he was getting out of practice, which was concerning this close to Christmas. “Come on Rudolph, let’s go and stretch our legs,” he said.
Rudolph and Santa wandered through the town centre. The Christmas lights were twinkling and shop windows glittered and sparkled with Christmas decorations. As they strolled through the shopping centre Santa looked sadly at a sign reading ‘Santa’s Grotto’.
“If only we were allowed to work I could be back in there giving out presents to children. Oh Rudolph, I do miss it! I wonder if the children are missing me,” said Santa.
“They’ll definitely be missing their presents,” thought Rudolph.
Advertising helps fund Big Issue’s mission to end poverty
A short time later, the pair set off back to the hotel. They hesitated as they turned the corner on to street where the hotel was located. An angry crowd was gathered outside shouting and waving England flags: ‘Get them out!’ ‘Save our kids!’ ‘Stop the boats!’ They spotted Santa: “Look there’s one of them! Always single men. Where are the women? Stay away from our kids!”
Santa looked confused: “We’re not here to cause trouble. We just want to be safe. I love children. I just want a chance to get back to my job, giving children presents and making people happy.”
“Well, we don’t need you to deliver our Christmas presents! We need to look after our own first! British jobs for British workers,” one of the crowd replied.
Santa flinched while Rudolph hung his head sadly. They hurried into the hotel lobby. Santa wished Mrs Claus was there to give him big hug and he missed the cheerful faces of all the other elves they had left behind at the workshop.
Some of the other men staying in the hotel invited them to have a cup of tea with them to help settle their nerves. Santa looked across at Ibrahim who also had a wife and children back in Sudan. “Don’t you just wish this could all be over? At least when we get our refugee status, we can bring our families over and carry on with our lives,” he said.
Ibrahim shook his head sadly: “Haven’t you heard, Santa? The government’s stopped family reunion visas for refugees now. We won’t be able to bring them here.”
Advertising helps fund Big Issue’s mission to end poverty
Ali passed his phone over to Santa to show him a news headline: “Government announces new plans for asylum seekers”. Santa read through the article. Refugees were to have their status reassessed every 30 months, there would be no family reunion for refugees on core protection routes and it would take 20 years to become a British citizen. Defending the proposal, Labour MP Steve Reed declared that “compassion isn’t all on one side”. He couldn’t read any more.
Outside the angry mob had been replaced by the more melodic sound of carol singers singing about another refugee a long time ago in another land: “Away in a manger, no crib for a bed…”
Rudolph reached a hoof over and stroked Santa’s hand gently as they sat in stunned silence.
Dr Ala Sirriyeh is a senior lecturer in sociology at Lancaster University. Her research is primarily with migrant, including refugee, children and young people.
Do you have a story to tell or opinions to share about this? Get in touch and tell us more.
Change a vendor’s life this Christmas.
Advertising helps fund Big Issue’s mission to end poverty
Buy from your local Big Issue vendor every week – or support online with a vendor support kit or a subscription – and help people work their way out of poverty with dignity.
