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Don Gilet was born in 1967 in Walsall. He made an early start in TV – his first appearance was in children’s show Play Away, with Floella Benjamin, who later played his mother in The Line Of Beauty (2006). His acting breakthrough came when he played Lucas Johnson in EastEnders, followed up by DI Mervin Wilson in Death in Paradise.
In his Letter to My Younger Self, Don Gilet recalls his performing urge started with break dancing, before a passion for performing led him to the (sometimes tough) world of acting.
I lived in Walsall when I was growing up and I still go back to see my dad, who’s in his 90s. It was a bustling place, there was a thriving market life. Every Saturday, me and my mates would walk through the market just to be part of it, not realising it would come to an end one day. You think it will always be there, but like in a lot of towns, it is almost extinct now.
I was into hip-hop and breakdancing when I was 16. I was into Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five, that kind of thing, and I had a crew. It was all about performing. My crew were called the Rock Sonic Crew… and yes, it’s a little bit similar to the Rock Steady Crew. I was very into that. There was a film called Wild Style, all about a graffiti artist and another film called Breakin’. I loved it all. I was at college and it was all about the tracksuits and the labels – Sergio Tacchini, Lacoste, Le Coq Sportif, Kappa. Because kids want to belong to something.
2005: Do Gilet in Newcastle while filming 55 Degrees North. Image: Trinity Mirror / Mirrorpix / Alamy
I grew up in a very working-class home. My dad worked many jobs but while I was growing up he was on public transport. My mum was the matriarch, doing the housewife stuff, and when my dad came in knackered from working on public transport it was the difference between running about the place having fun and then, when the key turned in the door, everything went quiet. He wasn’t always grumpy but he needed quiet after a day of hustle and bustle and noise and racism. I didn’t even know what racism was. It’s there when you are a kid, and I had to learn that in years to come because he didn’t want to burden us with it. But my dad had to deal with that every day.
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I didn’t want to be singled out but I did want to be different. Because I already wanted to act when no one else did. Listening to hip-hop and breakdancing with my crew kept that acting pang in check, because I was performing, but it was already there. Acting was so personal. It felt like this mythical thing. Acting felt like an adventure. But how do I do it? I couldn’t see a journey into film or television but knew it was the way I wanted to express myself. My big thing to this day was Star Wars. My dad loves Westerns and Star Wars was just another kind of Western, good against evil but in space.
I had a massive imagination and was always daydreaming. So I was never fully focused at school. But one thing I would say to my younger self – and I say this to my kid, who is just going to university now – is that everyone’s got a story to tell. What I try to instill in any younger person is the idea that at any point you are simultaneously a student and a teacher. People say every day is a school day, which is true. But sometimes you are teaching somebody without realising, so be aware of what you say and how it can be received. Be aware of the energy you’re absorbing and you’re giving out on a daily basis.
I got into music off the back of not getting into any theatre schools. I went back to college after a year of working when I left school because I thought, this is not for me, working’s a bit shit. I went back and did my GCSEs and A levels and then tried to get into theatre schools. But couldn’t get anywhere, because the course fees were just really expensive. If I’d had the money, I reckon that I would have got in somewhere, definitely.
There was a drama society at college but I was so shy. I wish I’d had more confidence. I’d like to tell my younger self there is no need to be shy, you’re surrounded by like-minded people. I’d also tell him to ask for help, talk to your drama teacher. A year into my drama A level when people were auditioning for drama schools, I didn’t know what to do. I spent all this money to get to London, went by myself, didn’t tell my teacher, and all my preparation was rehearsing in front of a mirror. I think it was something from Love’s Labour’s Lost. I was looking at my reflection, making poses, saying the words in my head. When I got there, it was like The X Factor but less glamorous. I’d never even heard these words come out of my mouth, so it was awful. It wasn’t until the next year, when I’d told my teachers and they’d helped with my monologue, that I could show what I was capable of. Then I got two offers of a place.
I’d be very mindful of telling my younger self too much! I don’t want to bombard him. But I would say, don’t be shy, don’t fear being different, and you have got an imagination – don’t let anyone dampen that. I’d tell him to find the time to focus and that things aren’t going to come to you straight away. But how do you instill the long game in a kid when kids want instant gratification? I’d say try to appreciate waiting… because the idea that you’re going to be in the number one show in many, many years to come will blow his mind. And it’s worth the wait.
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2010: Don Gilet at the British Soap Awards in London with EastEnders colleagues Michael-Joel David Stuart and Diane Parish. Image: Doug Peters / Alamy
When EastEnders came along [in 2008], I was broke. I felt that me and this business were parting ways. Flynn was born and work was just not around so I was delivering cars. I started to think, well, you had a good time but that’s it. I’d thought things were happening for me when I did 55 Degrees North and Doctor Who – I thought I might go to a new level. But then, nothing. A lot of actors stay below the radar, so I thought I’d had my chance to shine and was disappearing again. And you need to bring money in to pay the mortgage so I was working for a car company and having a good time, just me in a nice car driving from A to B. This business is not a meritocracy. I know a lot of actors who are much better than me, but for whatever reason it never happens. That’s the way it is. Nothing’s a sure thing. I was laidback about the audition to play Lucas Johnson, there wasn’t that desperation because I was almost transitioning out of the business. Then I got the part and, wow, I’m back on the train.
It’s my plan to do a film that involves lots of running, shooting and driving a fast car. The ambition to do a Jason Bourne or John Wick, has been there since I was a child watching Star Wars. Everybody wants to play the hero, but also the complexity of a human. All people have flaws. The hero has issues. Is a villain really just villainous? That’s my pursuit in anything I do.
I’m still learning about love. I’ll only have any advice for my younger self on that when I’m dying at 99 years old! Be kind, first and foremost. That’s always the big thing. We all have down days. So it is important, at the end of every day, just to be kind to one another. It might sound twee or clichéd, but it goes a long way.
Parenting is down to communication. I come from a background where there wasn’t that. I hear people say, ‘my son is my best friend’ and I don’t understand that. Because I’ve never tried to be a best friend to my son. I am there for anything he wants to talk about. But probably because my dad was so busy, I didn’t feel I could have those conversations. I speak to him now. We’re both older guys. We look back and not in any regretful way, because it is what it is. He was doing his best to put food on the table.
2025: Don Gilet with colleague and mentor Don Warrington on the set of Death in Paradise. Image: BBC / Red Planet Pictures / Philippe Virapin
The fact I stuck at acting and am still doing it would make my younger self very happy. As a kid my focus was all over the place. I was easily distracted by shiny things. It wasn’t easy, but I am still doing acting and however long I do this job, it doesn’t mean I’ve learned it all or anything’s going to be handed to me. I know that now. You’ve got to be ready to put the work in.
I am learning such a lot from [Death in Paradise colleague] Don Warrington. I’d been watching him my whole life on the telly and he still invests in his characters. He never phones it in. At his age, you could kick back and relax when you’ve got a popular character in a big show. But he looks at every script, takes it apart, asks questions, finds the truth. And it makes me do the same. He’s very much a father figure – he has been there, done it all and has wisdom to impart.
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What else would I tell my younger self? Stick at your French lessons. Now I’m working on a French-speaking island and see everyone talking to each other and wish I could join in.
Death in Paradise is on BBC One on Sunday nights at 9pm and on iPlayer.
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