The Summit presenter Ben Shephard: 'I fell into telly'

Ben Shephard was born in December 1974 in Epping, Essex. After working as a TV runner, he got his big break in 1998, on the Channel 4 show The Bigger Breakfast, which led to a stint on the channel’s Saturday morning show T4. In 2000 he began hosting ITV’s breakfast show GMTV and has since gone on to present shows including This Morning, The Xtra Factor and Tipping Point.

In his Letter to My Younger Self, Shephard recalls lessons learnt from his parents, reflects on his favourite moments of his career and reveals the big thing that’s changed since he was 16.

At 16 I was in Essex, but my dream was to be in London. I spent my life going from Epping on the Central Line into town. All I wanted to do was live in London. I wanted to cut out the Central Line, which was purgatory. My mates lived about four or five stops in as well, so I was forever on that tube. 

My parents made incredible sacrifices for me, my brother and sisters. We went from state school to private school at 11 and my mum worked three jobs while my dad worked endless hours. At 16, it is a big moment, isn’t it? I wasn’t brilliantly academic but I used to work hard. And my mum and dad were amazing, always saying they cared more about our effort than attainment. As long as they knew we were trying, that was all that mattered. I only just got into the school, because I could barely write. And no one had time to focus on it. But then moving up to do A levels, with people who are still my core mates, studying subjects I loved – French, English and Drama – felt really exciting. 

My life was football and rugby. We played football all week at school, I played rugby on a Sunday and just lived for sport. It was the thing that drove me, and I loved the physicality of it. 

West Ham was my team. I started following them in 1986, so my early heroes were Frank McAvennie and Tony Cottee. My family weren’t massively into football, but when I started going to matches with my friends at about 11 or 12, it was pretty influential on my life. I was out of my comfort zone – surrounded by a very different sort of people. But you felt like you belonged. It felt really febrile, it felt exciting, it felt charged – watching the game and being part of that crowd, feeling part of that family and community was incredibly addictive. When you find the team that you fall in love with, it becomes part of you. I’ve shared that with my boys now. 

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I would tell my younger self to listen to what your dad’s saying, because he knows what he’s talking about. When I was travelling, I wrote him a letter saying sorry about my lack of understanding and respect. It’s not that I didn’t respect how hard he worked or the opportunities he’d given us, but our relationship was so dysfunctional. We clashed an awful lot in my teenage years. We just couldn’t connect apart from over sport, because he was also my rugby coach. So it was my way of saying sorry, you were right, I can see what you were trying to do. It was this moment of adventure, I was travelling around the world on my own but also realising what you need in order to be independent. So I understood what my dad had been trying to give me for years, which was the discipline and organisation I didn’t have. My dad told me a few years ago that he kept the letter in his briefcase for the rest of his working life. I think he’s probably still got it. 

I didn’t tell anyone, but my ambition was to act. So I went to university and did a dance degree, sort of by accident. And I loved it. I was going to do a year at drama school before trying to get into acting – I was thinking Steve McQueen, Tom Cruise. The more I studied theatre, the more I loved it. I had been inspired by a brilliant drama teacher called Mr Punter. I’m still mates with him now, he’s only a few years older than me because it was his first job. Acting was my big ambition as a teenager in Essex. At least now I get to interview actors, which is a real privilege.  

My younger self was a real performer. I even played in a band. We had a few names, none of them any good, Sixpence Worth of Heaven was one. Although he wouldn’t have been able to equate what working in telly was exactly – it had never come on my radar – he would be really into the idea. 

I fell into telly. I got a job working for a TV company as a runner. They suggested I try presenting, so I was very lucky. My wife always says, there’s things you do brilliantly, Ben, and the things you don’t do brilliantly, you find people brilliant at them and work with them. So I found myself surrounded by people much brighter than me who were advocating for me. They gave me the advice and courage I needed.

The things in my career that would most impress my younger self are all to do with sport. Working at the Olympics, playing football in front of 80,000 people for Soccer Aid. I played with Tony Adams, Teddy Sheringham, Alan Shearer, Gazza and Bryan Robson. The biggest for me was Paolo Di Canio – swapping shirts with a West Ham icon at the end of a game was incredible. He put my shirt on! 

I am very aware that in my relationship, my wife is the most important person. I have learned more from her than anyone in my life – about being an amazing partner and parent. So I would tell my younger self to be patient and listen – that is absolutely key to waking up with a smile on your face. 

I need to exercise and I need to run. It’s my meditation, my mental escape. It also allows me to be with the boys, away from screens – it might be playing football or golf or running. And it’s incredibly important for our relationship. I took my fitness for granted into my late 30s. I knew my body could get through anything. Turning 50, I know I have to look after myself because I want to be able to run for another 20 or 30 years. My approach now is very much about the future – I’m thinking, how can I run around with the boys or play golf with them in my 80s, and if I’ve got grandkids, maybe I can kick a football around the garden with them. I don’t want to have to compromise on that, so I’m putting the work in now.

When I was 16, I would take physical risks and do stupid stuff, but I didn’t take risks with who I was. I have found the confidence to do that now by virtue of the world I work in. It’s a symptom of my need to constantly be stimulated by new things. So launching the podcast with Joel Dommett where we’re starting a men’s skincare business together [The Business Men] is an extraordinary experience. I’m doing a theatre tour with Kammy [Chris Kamara], and sharing a stage with one of my best friends is so exciting. All the contestants on The Summit are so inspiring, it’s been an incredible show to make. So I feel overwhelmed sometimes, like I need five minutes to just stop. But part of me, and maybe this is from my dad, thinks, if I stop, what happens? And I thrive on being busy. I’m very rubbish at saying no – whether that’s to a job or a drink, I’m all in on most things. I don’t tend to say no, which can be interesting, especially if you’re out drinking with Cat Deeley!

On a show like This Morning, you never know who you’re going to meet or what they’re going to share. Whether that’s an actor coming on to talk about their film or, like a few days ago, a woman who lost her son at 24 to dementia, it’s such a privilege to be in that environment. I feel lucky and grateful to be doing all this, sharing it with the viewers and doing it alongside Cat, who has become a really great mate. Because I love it and still feel like I’m learning every day.

When I finished school, I went camping in the south of France with my best mates and girls from our school. This tour guide, a real wideboy northerner, took us into the hills to this gorge. We spent the day listening to the Stereo MCs album Connected and jumping off waterfalls. It is still one of the greatest memories I have. We bore our wives senseless. Not only do we still play that album, but we still talk about that day whenever we get together. I don’t know if I want to relive it, though, because it could never feel the same.

What would surprise my younger self about my life now? Probably that my bed is made and I get really annoyed that my boys don’t put their pants in the wash basket. I was not a particularly tidy teenager and now my teenage boys would argue that I’m the most ruthless when it comes to keeping bedrooms tidy. So that would be quite a sea change. I think my final words for my younger self would be just put your washing in the basket and be nicer to your old man.

The Summit is on ITV at 9pm on Tuesdays and Wednesdays and is on ITVX

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