Formula One legend Damon Hill: 'I'd love to be able to have one more chat with my dad'

Damon Hill was born in September 1960 in London, two years before his father Graham won his first driving title. Graham was killed in an air crash when Damon was 15, leaving his mother to bring him and his two sisters up. He started racing motorbikes in 1981 and moved on to cars, becoming a driver for the Williams Formula One team in 1993. He became Formula One champion in 1996. Since retiring in 1999, he has become a pundit on Sky’s Formula One coverage and will be joining the BBC radio coverage for the 2025 season.

Speaking to the Big Issue for his Letter to My Younger Self, Damon Hill looks back on the impact of his father’s death, his rivalry with Michael Schumacher and his musical achievements.

When I was 16, my life was a strange mixture. I’d just lost my dad [double Formula One world champion Graham Hill], but at the same time I could get a moped. So everything was opening up for me, but on the other hand, it was not the same life we thought we were going to live.

I was watching television with my sister when they interrupted the programme for a newsflash, because they were getting reports of a plane coming down in Arkley Golf Course. I had this horrible feeling. I knew it might well be my dad. I ran off to find my mum, who was having dinner with some guests. Then the phone went, and I hid in the cloakroom and listened. Someone had called trying to get a quote from my mum. The penny dropped and our world fell apart. We’d not only lost my dad, but he was also very well known so there were a lot of consequences and big changes to our lives over the next few years.

I think there’s an arc from hearing that my dad had died to me becoming Formula One world champion. It is part of a collection of events that either sparked something or were an obstacle to overcome. I’m still not sure which one. It’s very difficult to separate the two. 

Punk rock turned up, so being 16 was still an exciting time. I saw the Ramones quite a lot, Iggy Pop, The Clash, Sex Pistols. We would ride into London, go to the Marquee, sweat like pigs dancing and pogoing, put our leather jackets on then ride home to St Albans. And we would be bloody freezing. We would slipstream diesel trucks to keep warm. We also watched the infamous Bill Grundy Sex Pistols interview live on TV – the interview kicked off, and then it really kicked off. The next day, it was on the front page of every newspaper. But we couldn’t understand why people were so furious – we thought it was hysterical. They stuck two fingers up to everyone, never mind the bollocks, you know? And I felt like that too. I didn’t want to conform to someone else’s idea of what I should be doing.

I spoke to a therapist for a long time so now I could hopefully say the right things to my younger self. I would tell him what my therapist told me – that you’re not going to bring your dad back. That’s over. You can’t piece Humpty back together again. Because I thought I did have to piece things back together again when I was 16. I wish I could tell him you don’t need to take the world on your shoulders – because it’s too big, and that’s not what is expected of you. You’re not going to be judged for carrying on living your life. Anyway, wouldn’t your dad have wanted you to do that? 

I was lucky. My dad had written two autobiographies so I had the legend of how he got to the top. He didn’t have any money to start with either, he did it on his own with lots of enthusiasm and drive. And that’s what I thought would get me there. If you’d told my younger self that he’d go on to be Formula One world champion, he’d have thought, yeah, that figures. But he’d have no idea how to make it happen. I needed my dad or someone like him who could help me but I could never find that person. So I did all the phoning and cajoling and planning a route to the top myself. 

I was slightly intimidated by women. So I would tell my younger self, just be yourself, enjoy people’s company and take it from there. But I met Georgie when I was 21 – so I shouldn’t offer advice to my younger self in case it changes that. We were young when we met, split up for a bit, then got back together and had children. And once that happens you are embroiled forever. I really needed a close friend at that point, and that was Georgie. She’s been such a key part of my life.

Read more:

• Cricket legend James Anderson: ‘It doesn’t get better than winning the Ashes in Australia’
• Ex-England star Alex Scott: ‘I went from playing football on my council estate to World Cups’
• Paula Radcliffe: ‘I thought I’d never get over the Olympics – but it’s just sport’

Georgie is more of an advocate than I am. But we were both disappointed by the reaction of the medical profession when Oliver was born. It was so negative [Oliver has Down’s syndrome]. We were better off with the approach we took, which was, ‘Hello, Oliver, here you are, you’ve arrived. Don’t worry – we’re gonna look after you, we’ll be here for you, we are going to love you.’ That was our role. That was our destiny. We wanted to create an environment for all the children where they feel loved and could find what their creative gifts were – we maybe missed out a bit on the rules. But whatever condition you’ve got, that is what any child needs – support and love. That was our approach to all our children. But Oliver was our first, so he was extra unique. 

You can’t keep everyone happy. There comes a time where you go, if you want me to be someone else, I can’t help you. Some people were sceptical about me as a driver because of my name. And I understand. Who is this guy turning up late – I was 32, which is insanely late to get into Formula One – promoted by Brands Hatch to get PR for an event? I literally was a promotional tool at the beginning. The story ran that Graham Hill’s son was taking up motor racing: ‘It’s very sad, his dad died… will he follow his father’s footsteps?’ That stopped people taking me seriously. I had to show them I was not just the son of… I had to race and win. Which I did. 

My rivalry with Michael Schumacher was a classic of the form. In that era, there were good cars, good racing and good rivalries. I’m not saying it’s not like that today – drivers now are incredibly professional – but the thrilling moments in the sport don’t come along all the time. Some years go by that are not so great. But eventually you get this classic titanic battle for the trophy – we might get one this year – and mine and Michael’s were classics. Some drivers assume they’re better than everyone else. But I was a driver who thought, ‘They’re probably better than me.’ But I didn’t think anyone was unbeatable. 

You can’t ask someone who’s died whether it was worth it. Nobody thinks it’s going to happen to them, so maybe we were all deluded, but we got back in our cars after Ayrton [Senna] died, because a part of us thinks: ‘I love doing this with my life. And in any case, they died doing what they loved.’ I don’t think Ayrton could have done anything else. He was a racer. He was asked, literally, the day before he died, to go fishing with professor Sid Watkins instead of racing. And he said, “I can’t, I’m Ayrton Senna, it’s what I do.” It’s like when Picasso said, “I have to paint.”

I’ve tried to kind of come off adrenaline. When I go surfing, I get a bit of a buzz, but it’s relatively safe. I didn’t want to do another form of motorsport because a lot of drivers have lost their lives post-racing after taking something up to get the adrenaline going when it’s not such a well-protected environment. 

After winning the World Championship [in 1996] I could indulge my fantasies. So I had a go at being in a band. We had lots of fun and I had really good musicians in my band. But I don’t sing or play that well, so I realised we should leave it to the professionals. But I am on the last three bars of Demolition Man by Def Leppard, which Joe Elliott offered me the chance to play on. If you listen carefully, you can hear me. And I’m really proud of that. 

I’d love to be able to have one more chat with my dad. That would be an interesting conversation. I would like to ask him what he thought about my racing career. And, of course, I would love him to meet my wife and kids because he didn’t. I keep saying to my kids, you’re missing out. He had so much positive energy – he would have been such a good granddad. 

Hill is on Sky and Now TV.

Do you have a story to tell or opinions to share about this? Get in touch and tell us more.