Lisa Maffia: 'To talk about music in the 90s you had to strip to your underwear. I wish I hadn’t'

Lisa Maffia shot to fame as a member of UK garage pioneers So Solid Crew. In 2001, the group hit No 1 in the UK with 21 Seconds and their debut album, They Don’t Know, went platinum. Maffia went solo in 2003, with hit singles including All Over and In Love. She’s since written songs for artists including Madonna and Kylie Minogue, appeared as a contestant on reality TV show The Games and set up her own film production company, Maffia Media.

In her Letter to My Younger Self, Maffia looks back at the importance of music to her growing up, her experience of motherhood and the pressures of fame.

I left school a little bit early, unfortunately. I was bullied in my primary school and in secondary school as well. When I got to my secondary school it was really horrible. I enjoyed the lessons, but I didn’t enjoy the atmosphere. I was such a tomboy that I didn’t really fit in with the girls. And though I was quite tough, there was lots of little scraps and stuff like that I really hated. It was a scary time. I left early, and I went off to college to get a diploma in art, design and photography.  

I was a massive fan of Bros. Matt Goss, I had an absolute crush on him, and New Kids on the Block. When it comes to music I’m a complete jukebox. I’m mixed race. I’m mixed heritage. My black side is Jamaican and Ghanaian, and my white side is British, Scottish, Italian and all sorts. There’s lots of different cultures. While in my black family’s home, there was a lot of Bob Marley and Marvin Gaye and Whitney Houston and old-school reggae. And I was listening to Pet Shop Boys, Duran Duran and all sorts at my nana’s. You would catch me dancing to Rick Astley and then trying to sing along to Bob Marley. 

You would love the teenage Lisa because I’m an empath. I’d always think of everybody else’s feelings before my own, adults or children. I was the first to give a hug if someone looked sad, or if they looked bored I’d say come, let’s play a game. I was the one that picked up the kid that was bullied for being different. I was the one that would hold the hand of the kid that nobody likes because they said they smelled, and I wouldn’t want them to feel awful. 

I was so oblivious and so naive about a lot of things that were going on around me because I lived in this beautiful little bubble of fairy tales. I’m envious of that girl because I think that’s such a gracious place to be in this life. And the only thing that does bring me back to that is music. All the old-school tracks that I play on my radio show bring me back to that peaceful place that was so much more fun and I was so much more unhurt. I’m envious of that little girl that lived so free when there was so much chaos going on around. 

One moment I’ll never forget is a shoot and a double-page spread in Vogue magazine in 2003. It was myself being a model for Mario Testino, my favourite photographer, and alongside Duran Duran. It was the most magical moment that I didn’t embrace then as much as I do now. That I can’t actually believe. One, I made it in Vogue. Second, I was shooting with Duran Duran, one of my childhood faves. And thirdly, it was one of my favourite all-time photographers, Mario Testino. That’s one of the moments I think, wow, Lisa, that was a real ‘made it’ moment because it really set me above a regular musician at the time. And I come from a place that doesn’t make it into Vogue.  

Read more:

• Bros star Matt Goss: ‘Me and my brother Luke should get on with having a good time together’
• Ziggy Marley: ‘I should have said something to my dad. But I was too young’
• Rick Astley is glad he never gave up: ‘Doing new music again, I’ve gone back into my childhood’

I met the So Solid Crew boys when I was 13. I grew up in Brixton. The boys grew up in Battersea. But being the little tearaway I was, I ventured up to Battersea with one of my friends from school, and I ended up being the only girl that got left with them. The large group of So Solid Crew were proof that I was really a tomboy. I was left with a group of boys – just how I liked it, because I liked playing rough and tumble, riding bikes and playing football. 

I was 17 when I got pregnant. I was absolutely petrified. But at the same time it was weird because I was ready to have my own setup, to do it myself and have my family. Maybe because I had so much going on as a child I was just ready for it. But I was too young, and would I make the same decision again? No. But I am so thankful, because at 19 I started my music career and I’ve never had the time to have a child again.  

My daughter is my best achievement because we’ve grown up together. I had her really young, and she’s become my best friend. She’s like my advocate. She’s so there for me in so many ways without realising – she’s so smart and so focused and so calm that it brings me everything I need in my everyday.  

If I could go back I wouldn’t trust people as much. I always say this, every time something goes wrong with a person, but really I wouldn’t change it because that means changing myself. And I love the way I am. I love that I go into things blind and just let people be exactly who they are. But I would tell my younger self to be more mindful that you don’t have to give so much to people that may be undeserving. 

In the ’90s, objectification was a huge thing. To talk about your music, you had to strip down to your underwear to feature in men’s magazines. I was quite uncomfortable with that. But that was down to my management. They were two men that were very much all for the men’s magazines, and it was one of the biggest parts of promotion back then for women. I did it, and I wish I didn’t. But at the same time, it’s not left me damaged.  

When it comes to ageing, I say take it in your stride and enjoy it. Some of the best years have been in my 40s. I’m now 47, and I’ve had the most fantastic time. I don’t know when this is going to stop, and that’s what I’m more scared of now. I’m having so much fun in my later years, I don’t want it to stop. It’s just getting better and better and better, being a musician for 25 years and then getting a show on Capital Extra. I wouldn’t have imagined that, but I think that’s come because of my confidence as an older woman. 

I’d like to say sorry to my daughter and sorry to my mum. As I said, I was a full-on tomboy, and I mixed with the boys who were a lot naughtier than the girls, and I got myself into little spots of trouble. So sorry, Mum, because I know as a mother now, I’m so glad my daughter wasn’t like me, honestly. I would go out my mind if she got involved with the kind of things I used to get up to. And sorry to my daughter because sometimes I put my career before her. Because in music you’re very much in demand, and if your time passes, your time passes. So you say yes to a lot of things. And that interrupted my parenting. 

If I could have one last conversation with anyone it would be my nan. I don’t know if she ever understood how famous I was. There was one time something really bad happened at one of our events, and my picture was on the front of the Evening Standard, and she called my mum, and said, “Is Lisa dead?” Because there was a shooting at a So Solid event. And she was so worried. But we never spoke about my fame. She just loved me, and it was normal. She died five years ago but I wish I could just say to her now, Nan, are you proud of me?  

If I could relive anything I think it would be my appearance on one of the biggest shows on TV, Top of the Pops. Because I was so fearful then. I never did have that bravado that musicians have. When I used to do those shows, I used to be up there doing my very best, but not really embracing the feeling of it. I just couldn’t wait for it to be over a lot of the time. So I think I would like to go back because it’s such an iconic show. We became a household name back then because of those shows. So if I could relive that moment again, I would embrace it with my full potential. 

Reloaded Sunday with Lisa Maffia on Capital Xtra airs on Sundays 12-4pm and is on the Global Player app. Maffia’s new book, First Lady, is out 5 November (Mirror Books, £22); Her EP, Press Play, is out 23 October.

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