1. Sam Allardyce having a Big Mac in a pub during England v Panama
He was supposed to have been the man who led England to the 2018 World Cup. But then a man disguised as a sheikh bought him a pint of wine and tricked him out of the job. And so Big Sam watched England take on Panama sitting all alone in a pub eating a Big Mac which he’d brought with him. Bringing your own food to the boozer? It’s that kind of audacity that might have made Allardyce a cup-winning manager in his own right.
2. Batshuayi kicking himself in the face
After Belgium scored against England in a meaningless group stage match, the Belgian centre-forward tried to smash the ball back into the net for a second time in a display of cocky triumphalism. But he misfired, the ball hit the post and rebounded back into his face. Hahahahahaha. What an idiot.
During the course of Argentina’s game against Nigeria, Maradona was variously seen slumped comatose in his seat propped up against railings, dancing sexily with female Nigerian fans, manically celebrating Lionel Messi’s goal with eyes like flying saucers, giving the finger to rival supporters and finally collapsing before being treated by paramedics. It was a truly spectacular display. Was cocaine really to blame, as the internet seemed to suspect? No. That is wrong. Never say that again.
4. Shearer singing All Night Long
After England beat Sweden in the quarter finals, Rio Ferdinand posted a video of the man previously known as ‘England’s Boringest Human’ performing an almost pitch-perfect rendition of the Lionel Richie classic, using a breadstick as his pretend microphone. He knew all the words: even the confusing bit in the middle that goes ‘Whao jumbo jumbo!’ Impressive.
5. Del Boy Falling Through The Bar
I happened to catch this famous episode of Only Fools And Horses one night on UK Gold after watching highlights of the day’s football action. “Play it cool Trig, play it cool.” Hahaha! He’s fallen through the bar. Oh Del Boy, you wally. A truly memorable World Cup.