“I hate Christmas! I’m one of those bah humbug people, me,” Ozzy Osbourne, Prince of Darkness, tells us. “When you get pissed it’s great but when you’re sober and everyone around you is getting pissed it’s a different f**king Christmas. I just have people coming up to me saying, “I love you,” and I’m like, “You don’t love me, you’ve just bloody met me so don’t say you love me, you’re a lying bastard!”
In view of this, he may not be an obvious invite to our annual Chrimbo knees up, but he had to come – for we had to explain a very important matter to him. Brexit.
“People keep going on at me about that – is it a big deal over there?” he asks. “What will happen with it? Are people voting in or out, what’s going on? I don’t read the newspapers and I don’t really talk politics because I don’t really know. I don’t really understand Brexit.” Read this week’s Big Issue to find out how we replied.
Also on our invite list this year is Jurassic Park heartthrob and jazz master Jeff Goldblum. He’s been a fly, a dinosaur-duelling mathematician and a computer nerd who shut down an alien invasion. But it’s his beat-keeping jazz piano skills that make him top of our soiree attendees.
- Ruth Wilson’s next to knock on the door with the mother of all stories. After her secret agent grandfather died, it emerged he’d had multiple wives – and families – on the go. Gather round, as she tells the curious tale of how she’s playing her own grandmother in new show.
- Star of convenience store CCTV cameras worldwide, and our new best F・R・ I・ E・ N・ D, it’s David Schwimmer, who tells us why he’s using his lifelong passion for theatre to learn more about homelessness.
- This week’s culture section features a sobering look at the true cost of Black Friday from Ben Sullivan and Doug Johnstone digs into quirky black comedy with Chris McQueer’s new short story collection.