Is there a helpline you can call if you’ve been adversely affected by Tidying Up With Marie Kondo? For those of you who are a blissfully unaware, Marie Kondo is the self-appointed Japanese queen of home organisation, a manic pixie dream tidier and writer of bestselling books The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying and Spark Joy.
Since my husband got them out of the library last year, he has been organising his sock drawer with the kind of forensic gusto hitherto only seen at dress rehearsals for military parades.
Naturally, she is against everything I stand for and I want to bury her under a pile of pizza boxes. But my God, she’s persuasive. And as we all live in a burning trash heap of chaos, it was only a matter of time before Kondo got her own TV show.
In her new Netflix series, Marie brings her translator, a winning smile and her exacting methods to sort out the bloated excesses of American families. Most of them live in houses with six bedrooms, a rumpus room (me neither) and a yard the size of your average Tesco superstore. They are drowning in stuff, and let’s say for the purposes of the show that this is the reason they’re unhappy.
In walks Marie, beaming and skipping around like she’s in a meadow full of unicorns and lollipops. Children melt when they see her, and bristling macho guys dutifully start tidying the garage. Cue emotional journeys and lots of bin bags.