Advertisement - Content continues below
TV

Wish I was there: Who needs real travel when you have TV?

These days we’re all Judith Chalmers in our own living rooms, writes Lucy Sweet on her newfound love of travel TV in lockdown

Apart from going for another FECKING WALK, watching TV is probably the last thing you want to do at the moment. Of course, that won’t stop you from spending hours of enforced sedation in front of boxsets you’ve seen countless times before.

But chances are that pretty much anything else would be preferable to another day of staring at a screen, like going on a trip to a recycling centre perhaps, or a nuclear reactor.

At this point we’re so starved of fun we’d choose the middle aisle of Lidl as a viable holiday destination, just so that we can gaze upon the majesty of a discounted air fryer.

Lockdowns have taken income away from hundreds of Big Issue sellers. Support The Big Issue and our vendors by signing up for a subscription.

As the world shrinks, I’ve found myself watching any old programme that features people going somewhere. It can literally be anyone going anywhere and doing anything; I’m not fussy.

I’ve even found myself genuinely enraptured by Chris Tarrant’s Extreme Railways, where Chris, the lucky bastard, goes on 17-hour trans-Siberian voyages to Vladivostok and complains about them. Remember when you moaned about being stuck on a train? I dream of being stranded in Omsk due to signalling problems! It sounds like the very essence of adventure.

Until we can bust out of our personal prisons, travelling in the mind is going to have to do

I also now devour Travel Man repeats on Dave, just so I can see that most delectable of forbidden pleasures – the cheap city break. To think we used to casually drop into European cities for two days of fun, hiring bikes and drinking beer and going to places with more than three people in them. What decadence!

Advertisement - Content continues below
Advertisement - Content continues below

Right now, I would trade all my possessions to take a Ryanair shuttle bus from a far-flung airport to a rat-infested hostel on the outskirts of Bratislava. I would even volunteer to go on a city break with a BBC Three comedian who is hellbent on trying out their new material if it meant I could go to a restaurant, or museum or stand in a street in Belgium eating chips.

Talking of which, while I fill the empty void of my life with Wotsits, like an ever-growing human beanbag stuffed with polystyrene pellets, I also like to watch people going to different places and eating food.

Somebody Feed Phil is perfect viewing, as it features a guy call Phil who travels the world eating food. Be warned though, it’s heady stuff. When Phil had fried cheese in Brazil I had so many feelings I had to leave the room.

It’s not ideal, but until we can bust out of our personal prisons, vaccinated to the hilt and able to do crazy things like visit another person indoors or snog randoms in sweaty nightclubs, travelling in the mind is going to have to do.

So put the telly on, turn up the heating and channel your inner Judith Chalmers. Or, alternatively, you could go for a walk. Your choice.

Chris Tarrant: Extreme Railways is on My5; Travel Man is on Dave; Somebody Feed Phil is on Netflix @lucytweet1

Advertisement - Content continues below

Support us today

Over the last 30 years, your contributions have been vital in providing opportunities for those facing poverty by giving them a hand up, not a hand out. Support us to help thousands more. Buy a copy from your local vendor, donate or subscribe online today.

Recommended for you

Read All
In praise of the Apple TV hit The Morning Show
TV

In praise of the Apple TV hit The Morning Show

How Ridley Road joins the dots between a housing crisis and the rise of the far right
TV

How Ridley Road joins the dots between a housing crisis and the rise of the far right

The Great British Bake Off shows there's still hope for the country
TV

The Great British Bake Off shows there's still hope for the country

Covid drama Help is the 'distinctively British' TV the government wants
TV

Covid drama Help is the 'distinctively British' TV the government wants

Most Popular

Read All
'What kidnappers do' - DWP forcing universal credit claimants to pose for photo with daily paper
1.

'What kidnappers do' - DWP forcing universal credit claimants to pose for photo with daily paper

The problems with BT's £50m 888 app to protect women on their way home
2.

The problems with BT's £50m 888 app to protect women on their way home

Why England's rivers are so polluted and will be for years to come
3.

Why England's rivers are so polluted and will be for years to come

Universal credit: What is it and why does the £20 cut matter?
4.

Universal credit: What is it and why does the £20 cut matter?