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Couples Therapy is watch-through-your-fingers TV at its best – it's impossible to look away

It’s impossible to look away from Couples Therapy, just like when you see a vicious argument in Tesco

Couples Therapy

Dr Orna Guralnik counsels throuple Lorena, Josh and Aryn. Image: BBC/Paramount+ with SHOWTIME

My husband has a cold at the moment and he’s feeling sorry for himself, which makes me want to kill him. Perhaps this is why the other day I started binge watching Couples Therapy, a documentary series that shows what goes on in the consulting rooms of Dr Orna Guralnik, a New York clinical psychologist. 

Of course, my predicament would be water off a duck’s back for Dr Orna, who for four series has been calmly presiding over petty squabbles and toxic dynamics with not one but two quizzical eyebrows, like a turbocharged Fiona Bruce. She’d probably tell me to ‘hold space’ for my husband’s annoying cough, while she sips mindfully from a series of incredibly large and expensive-looking coffee mugs. (If anyone knows where Orna gets her mugs from, please get in touch – I need to throw one across the room.) 

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Couples Therapy really is compelling, though. It’s impossible to look away, just like when you see a vicious argument in Tesco. But unlike most reality shows, it’s filmed documentary-style with a dreamy, cinematic pace, which encourages us to empathise and understand rather than boo and throw a slipper at the telly. Of course, the sophisticated vibes are helped by the fact that the couples are well-heeled New Yorkers, and instead of sweaty plastic chairs and a dead flower arrangement, Dr Orna’s office looks like the lobby of a five-star hotel. 

But although being a glamorous New York therapist in fancy designer knitwear seems like quite an attractive career option, it’s a tough gig. Each series deals with four couples and over time, their issues slowly unfold in ways that you never expected. Every one of them has more baggage than easyJet and more childhood trauma than Augustus Gloop. What starts with arguments about the housework or the mother-in-law turn into fascinating narratives that explain the volcanic chasms that have formed between people who are supposed to love each other. It really is amazing how good humans are at deceiving ourselves. No wonder Dr Orna needs such a big mug – she’s probably got vodka in there. 

In this new series, though, the complexity is dialled up to 11, because one of the couples is a throuple. Yes, polyamory has made it to Orna’s consulting room, and it turns out that throuples are three times as annoying as couples when it comes to misunderstandings and interpersonal dynamics. 

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This particular arrangement consists of a controlling bald guy, a woman with unprocessed family trauma and another woman who works in a travelling circus. One of them is never there, the other is there but not 100% all there, and he’s someone that you would actively avoid at a party. Nobody knows if they’re coming or going or who they’re supposed to be with. I’m sorry, but if my polycule was this disorganised I’d demand we had a meeting every morning and put everything on a Trello board.

In fact, the throuple gets so thorny that Dr Orna herself has to get some help from her mentor, Virginia, who looks like she walked in from a 1980s Woody Allen film. Virginia’s seen EVERYTHING, and after thrashing it out for a minute they come to the conclusion that the man in the throuple is ‘foisting his ideas on them’, which I believe is therapy-speak for ‘he’s an absolute bellend who looks like Moby.’  

Anyway, whether you’re in a couple, a throuple or a quadrouple, this stuff is hard. Will any of them make it? My guess is that the throuple might have to call it a day and run off with the circus instead. I mean, it’s probably for the best, though. Can you imagine what it would be like if two people in your relationship had a cold? If that was me, I wouldn’t be in therapy – I’d be going straight to Cell Block H. 

Couples Therapy is on BBC iPlayer.

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