Opinion

Rishi Sunak's answer to the NHS crisis, sky-high energy bills and widespread strikes? More maths!

Sunak is choosing to pile even more pressure on struggling students and teachers while ignoring the immediate crises engulfing the nation, writes Rose Morelli

Rishi Sunak

Rishi Sunak has announced plans for all pupils to study maths until they are 18. Image: Rory Arnold / No 10 Downing Street

The British people are currently in peril. Drowning in bills, strikes and a general breakdown in public services, it’s unclear how a lot of us will make it through the next year in one piece. But nay fear! Rishi Sunak, official man of the people and working class hero – well, not working class – has the answer. 

Taking a break from huffing nitrous oxide behind the bins at Number 10, Sunak announced a ground-breaking new policy at PMQs this week: as part of a “reimagination of numeracy”, all school children will now continue to learn “some form of maths” past GCSE all through A-Level. 

“Letting our children into the world without those skills is letting our children down,” said Sunak, with all the worldly awareness of a former hedge fund manager.

Your support changes lives. Find out how you can help us help more people by signing up for a subscription

Thanks in part to his many hours transcending class by cosplaying as a working man, Sunak’s firm, calloused grip on the national pulse remains as strong as ever. He knows that the answer to a besieged Britain doesn’t lie with a cap on energy prices, or increased investment in the public sector: it lies with advanced geometry. Indeed, if I’ve learned anything from the last few years, it’s that the NHS would be in a better state if I’d just measured more triangles between the ages of 16 and 18.

With unprecedented levels of selective memory, the government justified their announcement today with some pretty shocking statistics regarding the UK’s numerical literacy. As well as noting that around eight million English adults have primary school level numeracy skills, they even acknowledged that 60 per cent of disadvantaged students finish their GCSEs without basic maths skills. Sunak is yet to acknowledge the austerity that causes said disadvantage, but to be fair, he’s probably busy with his Diana-level outreach, asking homeless people if they work in business.

The general logic of this move seems to be that, if tackling inequality and reforming our crumbling education system are out of the question, then we should simply throw more qualifications at the problem.

Get the latest news and insight into how the Big Issue magazine is made by signing up for the Inside Big Issue newsletter

It’s such a good idea that it doesn’t even need thinking all the way through. Sunak is so cocksure in his ploy to promote increased analytical skills that he’s done it without actually conducting any analysis. Instead of assessing why so many disadvantaged students are falling through the net, or whether the current maths curriculum is even fit for purpose, he’s simply opting to pile even more pressure on struggling students and teachers. After all, it wasn’t his wealth, private schooling or financial connections that equipped Sunak to beat the odds and become prime minister – it was his maths skills.

So, for now, struggling families across the UK can breathe a collective sigh of relief, as finally we have Sunak’s golden antidote to this numerically challenging era in British history. He heard our cries of chronic, spiralling debt and came through with an infallible solution: more maths. Rest assured, your teenage children will soon have enough numerical literacy to read the astronomical numbers on your energy bill – and what more could you want than that?

Rose Morelli is a freelance journalist

Support the Big Issue

For over 30 years, the Big Issue has been committed to ending poverty in the UK. In 2024, our work is needed more than ever. Find out how you can support the Big Issue today.
Vendor martin Hawes

Recommended for you

View all
Two-child limit on benefits is cruel and unfair. Politicians must rethink ahead of general election
two child limit/ three kids
Martin O'Neill

Two-child limit on benefits is cruel and unfair. Politicians must rethink ahead of general election

Investment in social housing is an investment in people
John Bird

Investment in social housing is an investment in people

Some people might find my middle-aged life boring – but it's real. There's beauty in the humdrum
Sam Delaney says old people can still enjoy live music
Sam Delaney

Some people might find my middle-aged life boring – but it's real. There's beauty in the humdrum

Family court sees trauma every day. Here's how we can help struggling parents break the cycle
Teresa Thornhill

Family court sees trauma every day. Here's how we can help struggling parents break the cycle

Most Popular

Read All
Renters pay their landlords' buy-to-let mortgages, so they should get a share of the profits
Renters: A mortgage lender's window advertising buy-to-let products
1.

Renters pay their landlords' buy-to-let mortgages, so they should get a share of the profits

Exclusive: Disabled people are 'set up to fail' by the DWP in target-driven disability benefits system, whistleblowers reveal
Pound coins on a piece of paper with disability living allowancve
2.

Exclusive: Disabled people are 'set up to fail' by the DWP in target-driven disability benefits system, whistleblowers reveal

Here's when UK households to start receiving last cost of living payments
next dwp cost of living payment 2023
3.

Here's when UK households to start receiving last cost of living payments

Strike dates 2023: From train drivers to NHS doctors, here are the dates to know
4.

Strike dates 2023: From train drivers to NHS doctors, here are the dates to know