Count Binface: 'Humans can decide if Farage is more establishment than a lone wolf space warrior'

In June, Nigel Farage resigned as MP for Clacton, triggering a by-election he cast as a “people versus the establishment” contest. 

The move came as the Reform UK leader faced an investigation by parliament’s standards commissioner over an undeclared £5 million gift from crypto billionaire Christopher Harborne. 

The so-called “establishment” swiftly dropped out, accusing Farage of diversion tactics. 

“It is a farce and a desperate distraction, and the people of Clacton deserve better,” then-chancellor Rachel Reeves posted on X. “But if he wants to spend the summer arguing with a bin, I won’t stop him.” 

If you follow British politics at all, you’ll know the bin in question.  

Count Binface is a 5,900-year-old intergalactic space warrior from the planet Sigma IX. When the bin comes off, he’s satirist and veteran BBC comedy writer Jon Harvey. As the Count, though, he has one mission: “Make Earth Great Again.” Since 2019, he’s stood in five elections, including the London mayoral race, the 2024 general election and June’s Makerfield by-election against Andy Burnham. 

Now the Count is Farage’s highest-profile challenger in Clacton. A Survation poll put him on around 20% among Clacton voters; a separate national Ipsos poll found more Britons would rather see Count Binface win the seat than Farage, by 33% to 21%. 

His policies are novel, to say the least: past manifestos have included pledges to “nationalise Adele” and cap the cost of the 99 ice cream with a Flake at 99p. But he’s an alien with taste: in 2024, he called Big Issue his “favourite Earth magazine by a country light year.” 

Days out from the by-election, Binface sat down with Big Issue to talk democracy, Clacton – and the great British tradition of taking the piss. 

Hello, Count Binface. Are you optimistic about your chances of victory in Clacton? 

No, but you know it all depends on what you mean by victory. You just don’t know. 

I’ve had plenty of electoral victories on Earth, just not numerically. It’s the being there that counts, wouldn’t you say? And I don’t just mean that glibly. I’m here to celebrate democracy, British democracy, the greatest on the planet. 

The sheer fact that 34 humans can stand on that stage and say, “I want to be a member of parliament” – you don’t get that in China. 

How do you feel about the other 33 candidates? Do you risk splitting the anti-Farage vote with other novelty candidates – say the Monster Raving Loony Party? 

Who? 

The Monster Raving Loony Party. 

Who? Oh, I know who you mean. I’ve had dealings with them in the past, for good and ill. I’ll say this about them: I’ve noticed three of the candidates [in Clacton] are Monster Raving Loonies. 

They’re standing candidates against themselves. I’d argue that’s the first subversive thing they’ve done for a long time. 

Read more:

• Elmo, Binface and a fish finger: A colourful history of novelty political candidates taking on the elite
• Count Binface’s guide to 2022: A year of political bin fires
• Space warrior Count Binface: ‘I want people to remember how precious it is to have the right to vote’

Nigel Farage has said this is going to be a people versus the establishment election. Do you consider yourself to be establishment? 

I mean, on Sigma IX, I would say I’m pretty damn establishment because I control the entire system. It’d be churlish of me to suggest that I’m some kind of upstart. 

On Earth, [in the Clacton election] one of us is the establishment, and one of us represents the people. I can’t help thinking that the guy who’s taken at least five million quid, who says that he can spend it on Ferraris if he wants, who has been a member of parliament until he hit the self-destruct button, and was also a member of the European parliament, who has had various controversies over funding, and likes to hang around at hunts and wear corduroy trousers, etc, etc… 

It’s up to humans to decide whether that man is more establishment than a lone wolf space warrior with a Ceefax fetish. It’s not for me to say. 

I’m assuming if a crypto billionaire offered you five million pounds, you would refuse it 

That’s in my manifesto, mate! I will not accept it on Earth. 

Would you accept it if it was on Sigma IX? 

That’s none of your business. 

You’ve stood against big names – Andy Burnham most recently, Sadiq Khan and others. Is this your most important election yet? 

They’re all equally important. It’s like asking me to choose between my Binlings. It’s impossible. Every single election where I get a vote, even a single vote from a human, whether it’s 95 in Makerfield, or 92,000 in the 2021 London mayoral election – first choice and second choice – you know they’re all equally wonderful. But right now, the Clacton election is clearly the most important of my entire life. Until the next one. 

Let’s go through your manifesto. One of your pledges is to cut your taxes and raise everyone else’s. So, who should be paying more tax in this country? 

Everyone else! Not you, or your readers. But everyone else. 

You want to build a single affordable house. What would it look like? Who would live there? 

At least one affordable house. What it would look like is up to the architect. I mean, I’ll happily get involved. I’d like it to have a vaguely cylindrical theme, like the reverse of an oast house. As to who I would give it to, it would need to go to someone who needs an affordable house. It’s quite a long queue, so maybe we’d need to have a lottery. 

When you were running for London mayor, you talked a lot about ending homelessness as a necessary political aspiration. Is that still a big part of the Count Binface platform? 

Absolutely. I’m very excited that Andy Burnham says he wants to end rough sleeping. Too right. So I’m going to wait to see how that plays out. I stand by all my past manifestos. I believe Buckingham Palace should be turned into a homeless shelter and refuge for people who need help. The royals have got multiple palaces, and from what I understand, they don’t even like Buckingham Palace. What an amazing gesture that would be for the billionaire royal family to donate a giant house that they don’t even like to the public. 

Where do you live on Sigma IX? 

I have a couple of houses, I’ll be honest with you. I’ve a little holiday gîte on the lava ocean. Yeah, it’s not very nice, but it’s affordable. Rents are not as high as on Earth. 

All the major parties have refused to contest this election; they claim Farage has pulled the stunt to distract from scrutiny over his finances. Is there an argument that it’d be more powerful for you not to stand, that any opposition legitimises the by-election? 

The logic of your question implies that he should face no electoral test whatsoever. That he should resign his seat, and therefore be unanimously voted in without any opposition. Is that democratic? I think the question collapses very quickly under its own logic. 

How have the people of Clacton received you? 

Very warmly. I had a lovely time in Clacton and Frinton and I’d love to go back for a bit more of a chinwag. It’s difficult with the whole security situation these days. I’ve only got one suit of armour – it’s not like I can just get changed. Poor old Nigel got a milkshake in the face, which I disagree with. So I have to be careful. 

The only thing I’d say is £3.80 for a 99 Flake in Frinton. That’s a bit steep. 

Is there anywhere in the galaxy that rivals British democracy? 

No. That’s my point. Nobody else is doing it. Britain is the only place in the cosmos still doing democracy. 

When I happen upon a planet using democracy, it’s the equivalent of stumbling across a branch of Wimpy. You think, “Fuck me, is that still going?” But you still fancy a bite, don’t you? 

What do you think your rise says about British politics? 

The audacity of hope. Hope that things can change. Hope that you can still stand. Hope that people enjoy taking the piss. Hope that independence is still possible in politics. 

Taking the piss is one of the few things that Britain still does better than anywhere else. So I’m very, very, very humbled and pleased to be a little bit of that. 

Read the full Count Binface manifesto here

Do you have a story to tell or opinions to share about this? Get in touch and tell us more. 

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