Big Issue Vendor

Uri Geller tells The Big Issue Brexit ‘will be positive’ for the UK

Talks between Britain and the EU are in chaos – but one man knows exactly what’s going to happen, and he assures us that we needn’t worry

In January Uri Geller, famed psychic, bender of a thousand spoons and ender of Scotland’s Euro ’96 dreams, tweeted a picture from 2014 when he met with the then Home Secretary Theresa May.

“My dear Theresa do you remember what I told you when you came to my house? Can my twitter followers guess what it was?”

The message was accompanied by emojis showing a love heart and a spoon. What could he possibly mean?

Hundreds of guesses from Geller’s fans ranged from the unrepeatable to the nonsensical and failed to shed any light on the current state of Brexit negotiations, so The Big Issue asked our friend Uri if he could share any indication of what might happen next.

Since nobody has any idea what’s in store when Brexit comes along, do you have any advice or information that has relevance today?

“To answer your question, yes I do know what precisely will happen,” Geller reveals. “But having maintained present contact with certain individuals who deal in politics, I would find it highly inappropriate at this stage to divulge what I know.

“I can only give you a small hint. What is about to happen will be positive for the UK.”

Good news for leavers AND remainers then. Finally, something to bring people together in a way that all deals have so far failed to do.

Predictions Geller made during May’s visit have already proven accurate. He told her that she was going to become the next Prime Minister, as well as pointing out a spoon that belonged to Winston Churchill.

It now seems like distant history but in the heady, carefree days of 2014, David Cameron’s approval ratings were soaring. So much so that he agreed to hold a referendum about EU membership that would surely cause no problems. Apparently, May modestly played down the prediction, saying that it was impossible since David Cameron was doing very well and would remain PM for quite some time.

Geller also predicted Donald Trump’s victory in 2016, posting the following on his Facebook page several weeks before the election: “To all my dear friends, whether you like him or dislike him I have got news for you! Donald Trump will become the 45th President of the United States of America!”

The evidence, wrote Geller, was that there are 11 letters in ‘Donald Trump’ which fits in with a pattern of past presidents – Barack Obama, George W Bush, Bill Clinton and John Kennedy – all 11 letters.

Although Geller won’t divulge details who our next Prime Minister will be, we can still use that system to have a guess. Here are the most likely candidates:

Jeremy Corbyn – 12 letters
Boris Johnson – 12 letters
Michael Gove – 11 letters

In fact in the top 10 favourites to occupy 10 Downing Street, only one name hits the magic number. Could this be proof that Gove is next in line?

Geller has a long, and increasingly better understood career working alongside governments around the world.

“As you might know, I’ve worked for the CIA and Mossad and I was studied by MI5,” he says. According to recently declassified documents, US scientists concluded after tests that he had “proven his supernatural perception unequivocally”.

Today Geller is currently one of the judges on Israel’s Got Talent, sitting in the seat typically taken by Simon Cowell in our version, and focussing on developing the Uri Geller Museum for Peace in Old Jaffa.

“I am right now in the process of building the largest spoon in the world,” he says. “[It will be] 18 meters long and weigh 10 tonnes.

“When I lived in London, I loved The Big Issue,” he adds. “I think you have a fine publication.” But you don’t have to be psychic to know that, you can simply buy the latest issue from your local vendor!

“I wish you plenty of good health, happiness and peace of mind,” Geller concludes. “Be positive, optimistic and believe in yourself. Much energy.”

Image: David Parry/PA Wire