I had virtually nothing when I became a mum. I needed help from a baby bank to get the essentials

Parents are being forced to turn to baby banks for help as the cost of living continues to rise. Little Village, a network of baby banks in London, has revealed that two in five of the parents it supports feel anxious about providing for their children.

More than a quarter feel “very low or hopeless or are struggling with their mental health”, and 39% said they “felt sad” that they did not have everything they needed for their child. Trisha, a new mother, shares her story with the Big Issue.

Trisha’s story

I had my baby boy in January this year. I’m from Singapore and I moved to London after getting married to my husband, who is from the UK, two years ago. 

With me being on a spousal visa, I don’t have access to public funds and there’s lots of things I can’t apply for as a new mother. My husband was able to claim child benefit as he’s a citizen. It’s not much but it’s something. Lots of people are in the same position as me. We have come from another country and don’t have access to a lot of support. 

Navigating the NHS was different to how things are at home. I am so grateful for any help I can get. When I was pregnant, I spent a lot of time looking at forums online about pregnancy. Someone had mentioned getting support from Little Village baby banks. I was curious. 

I applied for help on their website, and someone from the team reached and they asked me questions about myself and my due date. I was contacted quite close to the time I was going to give birth. 

They sent me a huge box almost as tall as me. It took me a while to go through the item. They had gone through a whole list of essentials, checking off what I would need from them. I am so grateful. They asked if we had a Moses basket, a pram, clothes, a bathtub, all the essentials that any parent would need. The parcel was delivered to me and it was smooth. I felt really supported. 

Thank goodness we got a Moses basket sent to us because the one that we had which was donated from a family member had fallen apart. Thank goodness my baby wasn’t in it when that happened. The one we are currently using is from Little Village. We got a play mat for him to do his tummy time. We got lots of clothes and it wasn’t just clothes for when he was a newborn. We got toiletries like nappy cream.

When I had moved here, I had virtually nothing. By the time I had gained employment in customer support, my husband had taken out a bank loan to be able to afford my visa. We had just gotten married so there was the cost of that too.  

I have to renew my visa again at the end of this year so that’s going to be another cost. It costs about £5,000. It’s only after you’ve been in the UK for five years that you can get indefinite leave to remain and those visa costs stop. That’s going to be another headache to think about at the end of this year. 

I get about 16 weeks of maternity leave. My last full salary was last month, then I’m on statutory maternity pay until the end of the year until I decide to go back to work.

As a first-time mum, I was doing lots of research. I knew there were some things that were better to have new, maybe for hygiene reasons – like a breast pump. I was worried about being able to afford things like that. And I knew that they grow so fast.

My baby’s got a bit of a smaller frame but he’s already transitioning out of newborn clothes. At each stage, you’re thinking, ‘What does my baby need now? What do I have to get new and what can I get second-hand?’ Vinted has become my favourite place.

Everything is so expensive. Recently, when my baby was born, we were using ready-made formula, the one that is already in the bottle. It was the most expensive of the formulas, but my baby was struggling to gain weight. We only recently switched to powder. It was stressful.

We are depending on my husband’s income while I’m on maternity leave. But with the little one, we want to make sure that his needs are met. We want him to live a comfortable life. I have lots of anxiety about the cost of living. It’s a struggle to put money aside. You live paycheque to paycheque and saving is difficult.  

I really, really want to put aside money for him so that when he’s older, he doesn’t need to worry about things like a housing deposit or going to university if that’s what he wants to do. Back home in Singapore, my grandfather is in his 70s and still works to afford his daily life. I don’t want to live like that. I’m turning 30 next year. I don’t want to work until I’m in my 70s to be able to afford to live day to day. 

But it’s so hard because you don’t want to be stuck at home all day. You want to save money but you also want to experience life. It’s a struggle. 

Visit littlevillagehq.org to find more information or to donate.

Do you have a story to tell or opinions to share about this? Get in touch and tell us more. 

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