Then one day, when I was at my lowest ebb, I decided to take my own life. At the moment I needed it, my phone rang. It was a pastor my friend had put me in touch with. I told him what I was about to do, and he said, “Listen, I want you to get yourself up to the addiction services.”
This time, I listened and went straight from there to the recovery centre.
As soon as I walked in, I broke down and said: “Look, I need help.” They booked me into recovery straight away and that was the start of my journey.
Talking to people made me realise that there were lovely people out there who genuinely wanted to help others. Once I started feeling better, I would help facilitate recovery meetings. I decided to do a counselling course so that I could turn my experience into something positive.
When I was ready to leave the centre, I knew I needed a completely new environment – one built around care and supporting each other. When you’ve been caught up in a lot of mayhem, like I had, you have to change your surroundings entirely if you want to stay well. My job in the building trade had been full of heavy drinking and so I knew going back to that wasn’t an option. I wanted a place where I could rebuild my confidence, learn new skills and continue to build my self-worth. But I couldn’t find anything that offered what I needed.
Recovery meetings helped keep me stable, but they could only take me so far. Statutory services talk a lot about “moving on”, but you need something real to move on to. I needed motivation, something that would give me a sense of purpose. I tried to access college but that came with barriers and stigma at every turn. The number of knock-backs I received, started chipping away at my newly built confidence.
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That’s when I decided to set up GRACE. I wanted to remove those barriers for myself and for others. I couldn’t find the environment I needed, so I decided to build it for myself.
We support people in East Dunbartonshire who are experiencing life trauma, including addiction, mental health problems, community justice issues, loneliness or isolation, anyone who has become disengaged from their community. We are based in in Hillhead and Auchinairn, the two most deprived areas in East Dunbartonshire.
As with most charities, we started small, meeting once a week before gradually expanding our activities and support. We received our first grant from the National Lottery Community Fund the year after we opened, and since then we’ve been awarded over £466,000 in National Lottery funding which has helped us grow.
For me, what matters most is making sure people feel comfortable and not judged. All our volunteers have lived experience, so they understand the challenges each other are facing. That is why I share my own story as much as I can. I am not ashamed of my life, and I cannot pretend it did not happen. It has made me who I am today.
So many people go through tough times and keep it all to themselves. You can see the realisation when they come into GRACE, hear others sharing their experiences, and realise it is not just them that feels this way. Some people come in for an activity like yoga and then realise that GRACE can help them in other ways too. They may not have intended to join a support group, but once they arrive, they feel safe. We want people to understand that the world often feels uncertain, and it is OK to feel anxious or lonely sometimes. That’s part of life.
When I decided to set up the charity it was wonderful to hear people say they believed in me and that is exactly what we do at GRACE: we believe in people. I feel blessed every day that I get to see people’s lives changing right in front of me. People arrive practically on their knees, emotionally broken, and before long they are facilitating classes.
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We now have a relationship with New College Lanarkshire which means that people who never imagined college was for them are now studying, learning and loving it. It is amazing to see them realise they can do it. People need to see that there are opportunities in order to improve their lives. A lot of the time the barriers people face are not to do with capability but just not being given the chance.
Six months ago, I was awarded a British Empire Medal. It was such a huge honour but for me the greatest honour is having the privilege of witnessing people’s lives being changed before my eyes. We all live on this planet together, and we all want the same thing: healthy communities. That’s why it is so important for everyone to work together and support one another. It is not about me. It’s not about you. It is about the person who walks through the door and says: “I need your help.”
As the UK’s largest community funder, The National Lottery Community Fund receives a new idea every three minutes and awards a grant every eight minutes. Find out more about the impact communities are making across the UK.
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