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Kathy Burke on booze, boys and extraordinary people

Actress and writer Kathy Burke, aged 47, on alcohol issues, teenage boy troubles, and why she fell out of love with acting

When I look back to being a teenager the thing I remember most is the food. I remember the first time I had Chinese spare ribs, and the first time I had eggy bread. At home I was a moody miserable thing who didn’t want to clean her room, but with my friends I was a pretty happy person. I loved my friends and my music, especially punk and 2 Tone.

I did worry that boys didn’t fancy me – the ones round our flats just thought I was fat and ugly. And I worried about the fashion then – boob tubes and satin trousers. I thought, ‘Oh God, my bum’s too fat for those trousers, and have I actually got boobs?’ But that was the joy of punk coming along. It was such a relief. I could just wear jeans and flat caps and be a tomboy. It was a way of hiding my physicality and I felt real security in that. I remember when I first saw [punk icon] Poly Styrene on Top of the Pops, in her braces and twinset suit. She was like an angel, the coolest thing I’d ever seen.

I was told by teachers at school I couldn’t be an actress ’cause of the way I talked and how I looked. But when I got into the Anna Scher Theatre, Anna thought it was the best idea I’d ever had in my life and everything would be fine. I was very lucky to have an inspirational woman like that in my life at such a young age. And I met all these extraordinary people at the theatre. Suddenly all the boys wanted to talk to me. They didn’t fancy me, but they thought I was a laugh – they liked me.

I’d tell my younger self not to drink so much. I’d say, don’t think you need to get pissed to be funny, or to have a personality. My life only started to get complicated and upsetting when booze got involved. Before that I was able to just bob along and enjoy life. But drink is a very powerful thing. It f**ked up my early twenties on a personal level. I misjudged things, blokes mainly. I grew up in a house where Dad had a massive drink problem, yet the moment I was able to have a drink, I did. It’s amazing really. It made me forget about everything, I could suddenly just… be happy. Maybe I could get where Dad was coming from.

My life only got complicated and upsetting when booze got involved. I misjudged things, blokes mainly

You never go into a job expecting it to be a hit. When I first worked with Harry Enfield doing Wayne and Waynetta Slob, I didn’t really get them – I thought they were a bit patronising. Then, when we put the costumes on I got it – they were cartoons with catchphrases. It was harmless. But when we came to do another series, I went to Paul Whitehouse and said, “Look, I think I’ve got more to give – playing this fat, smoking woman, it’s not really a stretch.” And he had the idea of putting Kevin the teenager with a character I’d created, Perry the pubescent. I loved Perry, the little fella.

I fell out of love with acting a few years ago. I think the real reason is that I was suffering with a very bad stomach condition that had been going on for years without my knowing it. I started to lose energy for acting. I don’t want to sound like a wanker but, when you act, it should come from the core. You have to feel the character from the inside. And I couldn’t feel anything any more. But I loved writing about the buzz I had as a girl [for her new drama series, the semi-autobiographical Walking and Talking], because I was writing for a brilliant young actress who has it all in front of her, and I loved that.

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